No-Show

 I was today years old when I realized that we live in a generation
where people think not replying to a message makes them cooler.

Two Possibilities

 I can only think of two possibilities:
1. He is just showing off or
2. he is trying to seduce me.

Preferably the latter.

Win-Win

 I lost a bet.
I lost it on purpose.

Good People

 

A random woman on the beach makes my day.

No Pain No Gain

 If you want to learn to fly, you must
first learn to endure the awkward pain.

Under The Lustful Sky

 All set. Everything is according to plan.

Except he just called and cancelled the plan.

Too Subtle?

 "Wine or coffee?" the beach bartender asked.

"I'd pick coffee," she winked, "before sex."

Sadly, he's too dumb to pick up on her hint.